Tea, Coffee or Me with a Twist

 

While making breakfast today, my mobile beeped. It was a reminder to wish my friend Ragini on her birthday. And like each year, whenever the reminder comes, it sends me into peals of laughter.

A neighbour from yester-years, she lived in a flat next door for a short while. We would meet for an occasional evening walk or at our kids’ birthday parties. She eventually moved away. A few years ago, I ran into her on her birthday. We decided to catch up over a short walk and coffee. As we exchanged family news, she told me her husband had undergone a career change and moved into business.

That’s great, I said, what line of business has he gone into?

 “Oh, he’s rented an old warehouse and set up a sex factory!” I almost tripped over my own feet at her words. Did I hear it correct? So much traffic on the road... No, no, I must have heard it wrong. I decided to play along and asked her the location of the, ahem, ‘new factory’.

She happily supplied the details and said, “We’ve started advertising recently: The Sturdy Sex Factory!” Did I mention that she had an odd habit of winking her right eye and she did it right then sending my imagination even wilder!!

They were advertising it openly: It just cannot be what I was hearing!! I recalled her husband’s earnest face and his simple upbringing. There had to be a mistake. I probed some more, trying to be very offhand and generic. “What all do you undertake?” 

“Oh, we have gone all out with an extensive and varied inventory. You can see all our models at our website and order whatever you like. They’ll be delivered to your home or office for a trial period… Just for you (wink)! Few of our models are from Amsterdam... A little expensive but they are really beautiful and worth spending on. Will last you for years! And if you get bored, we offer an exchange policy [wink, wink]. Hey, why don’t you send your son over to choose one for himself? He’ll be more than satisfied. No one has complained till date!” (wink, wink, wink)

I was dying of curiosity. What could this factory be? By now we were in the coffee shop. While she ordered the coffees, my mind was running through all words rhyming with “sex”. I came up zilch, nada, zero possibilities!

“So, when are you visiting us at the sex factory? Sundeep will love the innovations we have introduced; they help relieve stress and takes the physical pressure off completely.”

Enough is enough!!! How to ask her what business is she actually in??? I sip the hot coffee in silence trying to come up with the right words. Suddenly she looks at the time and says she’s late to pick her son n must run. Before I knew it, with a quick bye, “See you soon”, she breezed out leaving me there all muddled and brain addled!!

I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry; I just sat there dumbfounded. What would I tell Sundeep once I got back home? Suddenly I look up and there she was again. “I forgot to give you my card.” With a quiet pride, she handed me her visiting card. With a breezy tata, she left with a "Don't forget to visit us at the 'deks' factory".

I looked down at the card… In ornate script, it said, 

10.12.20