Learning to be a Daughter... Once again

 

Learning to be a Daughter… Once again

 

As a shy, scared, naïve and young bride, I felt I was going into a lion(ess) den,
She welcomed me unconditionally, the lioness turned out to be a mother hen!
 
Straight from college with no knowledge of how to run a home,
Kitchen was just another room in the house for this book reading gnome.
 
Dals were nameless monsters, of black, white, green or yellow infame
Stock up groceries, buy milk and cleaning… Definitely not my middle name!
 
Garden was for enjoying in the rains, not to chase the gardener to weed n replant!
No one told me marriage entailed all this, I wasn’t ready, I tried to rave and rant.
 
Running a household, managing staff, raising a family were alien terms
Reluctant to take it all on but I had to learn… Oh! she was quite firm!
 
Her USP lay in accepting me for me and slowly re-educating me.
Patiently teaching me all: cooking, family relations, even diplomacy.
 
We learnt to accept each other and become a happy mother-daughter pair,
In a world where everyone wanted independence, I was happy to be there.
 
She gave me space, supported all my desires, freedom to do what I wished:
Strangers took me for her daughter, the in-law equation totally vanished.
 
As life moved on, the family grew and before I realised or knew
I was the mother in law welcoming another daughter to my ship’s crew.
 
Wheel of time dictated
She was here to take my family forward, grooming to be in the Cap’n chair;
All that the lioness had taught me, with my daughter in law I was happy to share.
 
Somewhere in raising my family n guiding the baton from one gen to the next
I assumed the lioness was still as strong as before, healthy, cool n un-vexed.
 
I didnt realise the changes taking place in her; still the Queen of all she surveyed.
But she now needed help, no matter how much independence she displayed.
 
Months crept past but she was aging faster; weaker, repetitive, forgetful…
Always my strong foundation, all this left me shaken n distressful.
 
She cheered the loudest as I took on the mantle of a doting gram,  
As I did my best to balance an aging her n my growing young fam.
The demands on my time left me frazzled, my care for her became a sham.
 
Unable to take her everywhere, I lied, sneaked in n out like a thief in my own house.
Impatient with her doddering ways, left her to her devices, convinced she’s happy n has no grouse.
 
Till I realised my folly. A lioness is called so because of the respect she commands,
She maybe old and toothless, but care, respect and love is her only demand.
 
When did I change from a daughter to a daughter in law, someone I never was?
Why in the dusk of my life I had forgotten my role? It sure made me pause.
 
I don’t like this creature that the I see in the mirror every day; that’s not me
Unable to hold my head high with a daughter’s pride, its someone very ugly.
 
Its going to be a long journey to change back to the daughter I have always been,
I thank my stars, my guardian angel who made me see this awful change in me.
 
I’m trying, it may not happen overnight. After all, I’m no longer a young pup.
But as I spend time with her, I'm at peace n that in itself, is a Thums Up 😊

16.5.23