FAMILIES FOREVER
6th Sept 2019
Two varied statements from friends in their
50’s in one day - “Children are a constant
source of Joy” and “Rach, my daughter has moved back home... I’m going crazy!!”.
Empty Nest
vis-à-vis My Space? Intolerance of noise, clutter, lack of privacy v/s
companionship, joys of grandchildren?
There was a
time when large families were the norm; 3 or even 4 generations lived together
in relative harmony. But as the world started opening, so did the families. Most
ventured out for education or careers. The families started shrinking. When 1
of 4 offspring moved away, it didn’t matter so much. But it’s a totally
different ball game today. With just one or two children making up a parents’
universe, the empty nest syndrome is a reality in most homes. Our dependence
and sense of loneliness makes one cling to them even after they leave. But
slowly, their busy lifestyles force us to start planning
our 2nd innings.
As we
rebuild our lives, we discover a different facet to ourselves which we didn’t
know existed. A hobby becomes a passion; often a passion turns into a
profession! Having lived the vagaries of youth, we relish the discipline the
middle years bring.
Just when
everything seems to be going well, the kids decide they want to move back home.
We jump with joy but later live the ramifications. Blissfully unaware of their hectic lifestyles, now we fret over the same; meals timings go haywire; dinners
prepared but not consumed on a regular basis; nanny to their children or pets… Our passions, routines suddenly put onto the back burner, willingly we convince ourselves.
Slowly, we question it all. Have the
source of Joy now become a source of Trial? The kids are in a new mold but are the parents expected to conform to the old mold? Is it the good ole battle of Indian
tradition v/s Western culture?
On retrospect, I feel the next generation has a
maturity we don’t credit them with. If they want their space, they are more than willing to give space. They will find a via media which will allow
the two generations to meet in a harmonious jugalbandhi giving each its space
to spread its wings.
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